


solicitous days

by summerwoodsmoke



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, At Least Most People Live, Gen, also featuring some cameos, canon-typical stuff, discussions and memories of death and violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 06:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9371504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerwoodsmoke/pseuds/summerwoodsmoke
Summary: During that quiet, tense week after Scarif and before the destruction of the Death Star, Yavin 4 holds its breath, Rogue One recovers, and Bodhi remembers."So, you knew my father. Could you tell me about him?"





	

**Author's Note:**

> i loved this movie, and i love the characters so, so much. i started writing this about a month ago, right after i saw the movie, 'cause i couldn't get the characters out of my head, especially bodhi. i came out of the movie wanting to know everything and more about bodhi rook, so this is my tribute to him.
> 
> special thanks to tatra and leslie, my dear friends, enablers, and betas <3

They all ended up in the medbay for one reason or another. A day after they arrived back on Yavin 4, Bodhi and all the surviving members of Rogue One were there in the medbay, whether they were sleeping or waiting or being treated. Or visiting. He knew Baze was okay, but he was here with Chirrut, and he knew Jyn was fine, but there she was with Cassian.  
  
Bodhi himself was back to get his concussion checked out when Jyn noticed him. She nodded at him and he nodded back. That was all he expected, but to his surprise, Jyn murmured something to Cassian before walking over to him.  
  
"How are you?" she asked.  
  
"I'm fine." He nodded. "Just a concussion."  
  
His doctor put her light away and smiled. "Should be just fine by tomorrow," she told them both. "But definitely no strenuous activity for the next while, a week at least!" she admonished with a pointed finger, and Bodhi huffed a laugh.  
  
"That's quite alright with me."  
  
"Alright, then I'll see you for checkup next week." The doctor smiled and took her leave as Jyn hopped up to sit on the pad next to him.  
  
"Anywhere you need to be?" she asked.  
  
"No. You?"  
  
She shook her head. Opened her mouth, closed it. Then tried again. "So, you knew my father."  
  
Bodhi moved his gaze to the floor. "Yes, I did. Not—not for very long. Unfortunately. I was just—I was transferred to his unit about fourteen months ago. I brought kyber and a few other supplies into Eadu every two weeks."  
  
"Could you tell me about him?" Jyn asked quietly. A quick glance up showed Bodhi she was also keeping her eyes on the floor. Clearly, this conversation was as easy for her as it was for him.  
  
Tell Jyn about Galen. How did someone tell a daughter about her own father? Bodhi was sure that in some ways, Jyn must have known Galen leagues better than he ever had. But, on the other hand...he remembered the way Galen tugged at his collar when he was agitated, and adjusted the shoulders of his jacket when pleased. He remembered the clench of Galen’s jaw when a particularly fanatic officer would talk about the Emperor. He remembered his opinions on the rations they received out on Eadu—dry and hardly worth living for, he said. Few specialty items made it out that far, although there were one or two things Bodhi brought in regularly.  
  
"He loved that disgusting green juice." Bodhi laughed. "Have you ever had it? It tastes like rot to me, but he had it every day if he could."  
  
Jyn was smiling. "I remember that. My mother hated it, but we always had a bottle of it around."  
  
_"You'd better bring back the good stuff, Bodhi."_ __  
__  
_"You tell me that every time, Galen. Have I ever let you down?"_ __  
__  
_Galen smiled. "You haven't, no."_  
  
"He put on quite the show sometimes, too." Bodhi closed his eyes against the light starting to make his head pound. "He knew he had to make it look good for the higher-ups. He'd stick close to the rules, act all snobby when they were around. I got outright ignored by most officers, which was nice, really. But Galen didn't ignore me, not when it was just us. He treated me...normally. Like a person. That was rarer than I thought it would be, in the Empire."  
  
Jyn nodded, smiling a bit. She looked a little choked up, and Bodhi's stomach dropped.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"  
  
"No, no, it's alright." She nodded again and cleared her throat. "I'm glad you're telling me, not sad. I'm just..." She looked at her hands, twisted together in her lap. One of them had skin scraped from the palm— it was ruddy pink and looked sore. She rubbed it with her thumb. "My father was always a man to set an example," she said finally. "Even if he didn't mean to. Even if he didn't know there was anybody around to see him." A quiet second, then, "But I'm glad you were there."  
  
Jyn slid off the bed. "See you around then," she said over her shoulder. Bodhi waved halfheartedly, forgetting she couldn't see, and watched her make her way back to Cassian.

 

* * *

 

 

Bodhi's visits to Eadu only coincided with Krennic’s once. And that day ended with a corpse in Bodhi's cargo hold, to be shipped back to Coruscant posthaste.

A low-level tech had been stealing supplies and had the misfortune to be caught by Krennic. The situation had escalated beyond anyone’s control. After, Bodhi had been panicking, scared, hyperventilating, when Galen had found him a few halls over from the loading bays.  
  
"Bodhi." He clasped his shoulders tight. "Bodhi, you must remember."  
  
"R-remember what?" Bodhi breathed.  
  
"Remember this. That man. How this feels. The look on Krennic's face. All of it."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because we must also decide how much our lives are worth, against this."  
  
"Wh-"  
  
"We'll talk when you get back," Galen said in a rush, moving his hands from Bodhi's shoulders to behind his back. An officer that had come with Krennic came around the corner. "Thank you for confirming the schedule with me, pilot. I'll check in on your return."  
  
"Of course," Bodhi replied, feeling small.    
  
That wasn't what he told Jyn, when she asked out of the blue one day, _Did you ever meet Krennic?_

_No, not really_ , he'd replied. _I saw him once, from a distance_ , was all he could bear to say. That wasn't a story he was ready to say aloud. He wasn't sure he'd ever be ready.

 

* * *

 

 

Cassian was asleep, and they were playing cards on his chest.  
  
Bodhi had looked around helplessly for a free spot to set the holo on and, finding none, Jyn had shrugged, taken it from him, and set it on Cassian's chest. He didn't stir, and so they sat on either side of his bed and played cards.  
  
Cassian's side was Jyn's favourite place to be, regardless whether he was awake or not. Bodhi wasn't about to bring it up with Jyn, but it was impossible to miss. And nice to see, honestly. Three days here on Yavin 4 and the only time he'd seen Jyn without Cassian was in the mess.  
  
"So," Jyn said as she laid down a hand that knocked Bodhi's out of the atmosphere. "How did you meet my father?"  
  
Bodhi reset the holo for a new round before answering. "He was in the cargo bay, that first time I landed. I thought at first he was gonna be one of those officers who checked every little thing with a ruler, get mad at me for being an hour off schedule, y'know? But...I found out later he just liked to go there in his free time. The smell, the noise, the machines," Bodhi nodded. "I definitely understand why he went. Anyway, I was panicked, 'cause I was late and I didn't know who he was, and I was rambling and babbling on until he grabbed my arm. Not harshly or anything, but it got my attention. And all he said was, 'Calm your mind. You are here now. That is enough.'"  
  
Jyn won the round again, but that wasn't surprising. Bodhi wasn't really seeing the cards in front of him. He was seeing his ship, greasy hot from hyper travel, and his own dirty uniform, and a pristinely dressed officer standing before him, his hand held out to shake as he introduced himself. Bodhi had stared at Galen’s hand in shock for a good five seconds before shaking it. Eadu wasn't like any other place he'd been stationed before, and that was all on Galen.  
  
Cassian muttered, legs shifting, and everything fell away. Jyn picked up the holo and passed it to Bodhi, who pressed pause, which turned off the projection temporarily.  
  
"Hey," Jyn said quietly, taking one of Cassian's hands in both of her own. "You there?"  
  
Cassian groaned. "Too bright."  
  
"Well, it's not my fault it's daytime, or that your sleep schedule's a mess."  
  
Cassian huffed. "Yeah, yeah." He blinked his eyes open, looking around without sitting up. "Bodhi," he said in greeting. Bodhi lifted a hand in a wave.  
  
Cassian looked back to Jyn, and the look in their eyes made a chill rise on Bodhi's arms. He definitely felt like he was intruding.  
  
"I'm, uh, gonna go get some food. You want anything?"  
  
Jyn looked up. "Maybe one of those sausages that I doubt has any actual meat in it?" Bodhi nodded and they both looked to Cassian.  
  
"Water?" he asked hoarsely.  
  
"There's water here, just a moment." Jyn disentangled her hands and reached for a glass. All thoughts of Bodhi and food seemed to be gone. That was fine. He hadn't really planned on coming back, sausage or no.  
  
Bodhi placed the game holo at the foot of Cassian's bed and walked away, leaving Jyn to it.

 

* * *

 

 

_3.6  1148_ the screen read.

“What could possibly be so interesting about the date?”

The voice broke Bodhi’s conversation and he looked up to see Corporal Tonc, one of the members of Rogue One, with one arm in a sling, smiling at him, bemused. Bodhi looked back at the wall outside the mess, at the screen embedded in it displaying the date and time.

“I-I feel like I’m forgetting something. Like...something’s happening today, but I just can't remember.”

Tonc’s face shifted to concern. “You don't think it's your head, do you?”

Bodhi shook his head. “No, no. I’m sure I’ll remember later. It's fine.”

After lunch, he still couldn't remember, and wondered if maybe Tonc had the right idea. He went back to the medbay, to see if anybody was free to take a quick look at him. Glancing around, he saw Jyn napping in a chair next to Cassian, who was awake in his bed, reading a datapad.

A doctor walking by—different from the one he'd had before, a Rodian this time—took notice of Bodhi, giving him a double take. “I should be free in a minute,” she said without stopping.

“No rush!” Bodhi called after her. He wandered over to Cassian’s nook, waiting for Cassian to look up and welcome him before sitting down.

“How are you?” Bodhi asked politely.

Cassian smiled. “I’m doing great. I’ll be just fine. The bedrest now is just a precaution so I don't re-injure anything too soon. How are you? How’ve you been settling in here?”

“Fine,” Bodhi said with a nod. “The company’s good. Food’s okay.”

Cassian nodded. “Sounds about right.” They sat in slightly awkward silence for about ten seconds before Cassian spoke again.

“Y’know,” he gestured to the sleeping Jyn with his pad, “I was beginning to wonder if she ever slept.”

Bodhi huffed a laugh through his nose and nodded. He turned to look at Jyn, who snored softly, and then—

And then it clicked.

He remembered Galen, sitting at the bar, looking miserable. Bodhi wasn't used to Galen looking anything but quietly thoughtful, or quietly amused, or quietly professional. Blatant misery was foreign on the kind man’s face.

“Are you alright?” Bodhi had asked.

“This used to be my favourite day of the year,” Galen replied. He tried to sip from his glass, but it was empty except for ice. Bodhi waited for more explanation, but that was all he said.

“Why’s that?” Bodhi ventured.

“Three six,” Galen mouthed. He sat up suddenly and put his glass down on the counter. “My daughter’s birthday is today. I haven't seen her in over a decade. I don't even know if she's still alive.”

Bodhi had no idea what to say. “I’m sorry,” he settled on.

Galen closed his eyes. “She'd be twenty-one today.”

Bodhi, now, a year later, _exactly_ a year later, stared at Galen’s snoring daughter and could scarcely breathe.

“Bodhi? Bodhi, you alright?”

Bodhi blinked and turned to Cassian. He looked worried, and glanced back and forth between Bodhi and Jyn. “What's wrong?” he asked.

“It's her birthday,” Bodhi whispered after a few seconds of silence. “She's twenty-two today.”

Cassian’s brow furrowed. “How…” His face cleared. “Oh, right.” was all he said. Bodhi clasped his hands together.

Oh, right, indeed.

“I’m gonna go,” Bodhi said quietly. He glanced at Jyn. “I don't think my head needs checking. I’ll see you,” he said, and left.

It wasn't until he was back in his room that he wondered if he should've told Cassian to keep it a secret, for Jyn’s sake or Bodhi’s, he wasn't sure. He decided he was too tired to care either way.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning, he put off going to breakfast for almost an hour in case he ran into Jyn. He'd decided that no, he didn't want her to know that he knew when her birthday was, didn't want her to ask how. But it was too late to stop Cassian from talking if he wanted, so the only solution was to avoid it for as long as possible.

When he finally did head to the mess, he intentionally took the long way, walking past the war room. The door was open, which was unusual for an ordinary day at an ordinary hour. Bodhi slowed slightly, and when he looked in as he walked past, his gaze was instantly drawn to Senator Mothma’s white robes. She had her hands braced on the table, and her head was bent towards her chest. Murmurs filled the room, and lights were blinking, but Bodhi’s last second of sight into the room was drawn back to the Senator’s hands, gripping the table for dear life.

_What happened,_ he thought. _What happened what happened what happened_.

He almost wish he didn't have to know, once he found out.

It was announced across the base using an intercom system, just as he was finishing breakfast in a nearly deserted mess hall.

_Alderaan has been destroyed, we repeat, Alderaan has been destroyed. The Death Star is fully operational_ —

He threw up his breakfast. He’d made it to a fresher, thankfully, but he had no memory of doing so, and he’d missed the end of the announcement.

His hands shook as he got water from the sink to clean out his mouth. He looked sweaty and scared in the mirror; that was no real surprise. NiJedha’s sand blowing in a wave towards him swelled in his mind, and he was almost sick again. _All_ of Alderaan was gone, all the cities it held, all the mountains and rivers and whatever else might have covered its surface was gone. His brain couldn’t even conceptualize it.

There was nothing left for Bodhi on Jedha, but at least he could return if he wanted. Alderaanians (oh, stars, how many Alderaanians were there anymore?) didn’t even have that.

Bodhi took one last shaky look at himself in the mirror—sweaty and scared and full of doubt—and left. He didn’t even know where to go, but his feet took him back to the medbay, again. It wasn’t until he saw Jyn sitting next to an empty bed, face flushed red and looking like she wanted to both cry and hit something, that he remembered her birthday. _Not now,_ he thought as he approached.

“Where’s Cassian?” He gestured to the empty bed as he sat across from Jyn. This was the exact position they’d been in to play cards, mere days ago.

Jyn sniffed, her nose obviously plugged up. “He left right after the announcement, to find.... _anything_ out.”

Bodhi nodded, and then they sat in silence, Bodhi clutching his trembling hands together and Jyn sniffing every so often. Cassian returned after a few minutes, stalking towards them, and Bodhi couldn’t tell if he wasn’t limping because he was that recovered or because he was that angry.

“We wait,” he growled. “That’s all they said.”

“But what _happened_?” Jyn burst out, sitting up. Cassian exhaled out his nose and sat on his bed so he could see them both.

“They’re not even sure,” he said quietly. “But it seems that the plans only got about as far as Tatooine before Vader caught up. The assumption is all rebels dead and the plans lost.”

Cassian clenched his jaw and looked down. Bodhi blinked fast so tears wouldn’t blur his vision, and he could see Jyn’s hands bunched in tight fists.

The Scarif mission mostly existed as fragments in Bodhi’s mind: a series of episodes punctuated by ringing ears, harsh breathing, and tripping over his own feet to dodge fire. He hadn’t talked to anybody else from Rogue One about it, but he didn’t imagine it much different for the others. If anything, it was worse.

He looked up at Cassian, who’d been bed-bound since they got back, and asleep for most of it too. Cassian seemed calmer now. He was looking at Jyn. Bodhi looked himself and found a woman, brittle as cold metal, on the verge of snapping.

“What won’t they take?” she quietly asked Cassian, who didn’t answer with anything more than a steady gaze. She turned to meet Bodhi’s eye. “Where will they stop? How do we stop them?”

Bodhi barely knew how to leave them, hinder them. He twisted his fingers together. Was stopping them even possible, he wondered. Was hope sustainable against this? At that moment, it didn’t feel like it.

 

* * *

 

 

The last thing Bodhi remembered of Scarif was from inside the ship.

He’d heard the clink of metal on metal, and turned to look, already half-knowing what it was, already half-prepared to die. He watched as the blinking detonator, not all the way up the ramp, rolled back down towards the sand. It didn’t reach before it blew, turning the world an impossible white.

He’d woken up on a ship, lying on the floor of a common room, sandwiched in between Tonc and another pathfinder he didn’t know the name of. Tonc was unconscious, but wincing in pain, and the pathfinder was awake, staring blankly at the wall.

Bodhi had tried his best to sit up, but his head was ringing so hard, the room doubled, and he didn’t even hear the young man talking to him until he was right in front of him, hands on his shoulders and pushing him back gently.

“We’ll be back on Yavin soon,” the man said. His face was doubled—four eyes in a row, three nostrils on an abnormal nose. Bodhi stared at his cheek. He couldn’t possibly have five scars there, could he? Did a Wookie scratch him? “Just lie back,” the man went on. His voice sounded like he was underwater.

Bodhi turned his head and his heart lurched at the sight of bodies, burned and broken, covering the floor. Someone shifted, and Tonc whimpered, and the brief, horrifying thought that they really were little more than _bodies_ left his mind. Just injured. Just sleeping. Not dead. They were all part of Rogue One, but other than Tonc and Sefla (who he could see against the far wall), there were none that he could remember the names of. He couldn’t see any of the group that had fetched him from Jedha, the group he’d gone with to Eadu. It hurt, but he stayed upright, turning his head, searching for them.

“Hey! Hey, buddy, lie down!” The man’s voice was starting to sound a little clearer, but Bodhi couldn’t stop searching faces, not until he found _at least_ one of them.

“Kid!” Another voice, a growly one that cut through the underwater sound. “What’s the holdup?”

_There_. There was Jyn, sitting on the bench, asleep on the holochess table. The man prostrate on the rest of the bench must be Cassian.

“He won’t lay down!” The man sounded five years younger now, defensive and frustrated.

Suddenly, much rougher hands grabbed his shoulders, forcibly turning him to face forward. It was a man, of a furred species Bodhi couldn't even begin to name, not when his head was like this.

“Everyone is fine,” the man said firmly, shaking him slightly. Bodhi’s head _pounded_. “I promise.”

_I know you're lying,_ Bodhi wanted to reply. _But that's alright._ He didn't have the energy for a single word.

“Lie down. Stay awake, but rest. We’ll be home soon.” The man pushed on Bodhi’s shoulders, and this time he went, thinking of Jyn’s head nestled on her arms. _She put herself here, unlike the rest of us,_ he thought, and felt relief so intense he could scarcely breathe. He stared up at the ceiling, letting the men’s bickering fade away as he counted the panels above him, over and over, waiting to go...home, the man had said. _Home_.

 

* * *

 

 

There was a common room in the base, for personnel to use in their off-time. With no official role in the Alliance, ( _yet_ , Bodhi thought, _just not yet_ ) Bodhi found himself there quite a bit. On the wall was a plaque, a digital screen that cycled through the names of rebel ghosts.

Bodhi stood before it, waiting for the Rogue One names to appear, then memorized them. He didn’t know most of them before, but he would know them now.

_Arro Basteren._

_Yosh Calfor._

_K-2SO._

_Ruescott Melshi._

_Serchill Rostok._

He wondered which of the faces he saw in his burning dreams matched which man. He wondered who Cassian knew, if he was friends with any of them. He couldn’t bring himself to ask. This was as much as he could do for now.

_Galen Erso_ , he added mentally. Bodhi had been working on convincing himself to officially join the Alliance since he woke up, but he knew deep down that for those five men (and one droid), there was no way he wouldn’t join, no matter his fear, no matter his doubt. They deserved their wishes to be carried out if they weren’t here to do it themselves. And for Galen’s sake—Galen, who met his eye and talked to him like an equal, who made it clear the price of their future rested on all their shoulders, who gave him a purpose and a mission and a path to follow—for him especially, there was no way he could leave the rebels, and no way he could leave Jyn.

Luckily, he was pretty sure they were going to be in the same place.

 

* * *

 

 

Less than two weeks after arriving on Yavin 4, Bodhi once again found himself in the medbay, helping load supplies into cargo crates for the evacuation. A medal ceremony was happening somewhere in the base right about then, a ceremony Bodhi had declined attendance to. He wasn’t alone by far; a handful of Rogue One, medbay personnel, and other rebels were in the medbay helping prepare patients and packing away supplies to get ready to move. Where, they didn’t know yet, but as long as it was _away_ before the Empire caught up, to strike back after the destruction of the Death Star.

 “Bet you never had to do anything like this in the Empire, huh?” Jyn asked from beside him. They were both stuffing bandages into bags, then putting the bags into a crate.

“Evacuate a planet before the firepower of an entire galaxy rained down upon us?” Bodhi asked. He met Jyn’s eye. “Once or twice, I guess.”

Jyn laughed and turned back to her packing.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! kudos and comments are much loved!
> 
> if you like, you can find me at tanosoka.tumblr.com and twitter.com/alinastarkovas


End file.
